Therapy For Narcissistic Abuse
Do You Have A Hard Time Trusting Your Own Feelings, Decisions, Or Intuitions?
If you were raised in an environment where your emotions were ignored, manipulated, or regularly devalued, it makes sense that you’ve developed people-pleasing tendencies or patterns of over-functioning in order to get your needs met. Taught to be hyperaware of what you’re doing to be helpful for, aggregable with, or liked by others, you’ve probably grown into adulthood feeling disconnected from your true, authentic self.
As a result, you may doubt yourself. Second-guessing all of your decisions, you may constantly seek reassurance or sacrifice your true needs to earn approval or avoid conflict. Instead of feeling like you can be vulnerable or express your emotions, you may numb, disassociate, or shut down when overwhelmed. And you may experience intense shame when you do ask for what you need.
Your relationships are probably where these patterns show up the most. Perhaps every dynamic in your life is affected by the push and pull of feeling at once inundated by codependent patterns and afraid of being abandoned. Whether you compensate by being hyper-independent or overly deferential to others’ opinions of what you should do, you may feel like your relationships are unfulfilling and imbalanced.
At The Codependency Clinic, we work with clients in therapy who are recovering from codependency, complex trauma, and patterns stemming from narcissistic abuse. By learning how to connect with and honor your deepest held needs, you can initiate the healing process.
What Does Narcissistic Abuse Look Like?
Narcissism is characterized by self-centeredness, a lack of empathy, and an inability to prioritize the needs of others. While narcissistic tendencies can be present in individuals of all backgrounds, they are particularly common among those with addiction issues and unresolved complex trauma.
When a parent or caregiver’s behavior is narcissistic, it usually results in a highly critical, volatile, and/or controlling relational dynamic that lacks healthy boundaries. Children of narcissistic parents often internalize the message that they’re too flawed, too sensitive, and not good enough.
Instead of having their needs met and their emotions validated, these children have to parent themselves—and are usually made to feel responsible for their parent’s emotional well-being from a young age. Developing the belief early on that love and worthiness are conditional, they may continue a familiar cycle of codependency, narcissism, and inconsistency into their adult lives.
If narcissistic abuse defined aspects of your childhood, it is not your fault that these patterns are present; they are adaptive mechanisms that were, at one time, necessary for your survival. Yet, they are no longer serving you and can be unlearned through therapy. In this process, our therapists will guide you from living in a place of self-protection to living in a place of self-trust.
Therapy For Narcissistic Abuse Through The Codependency Clinic
We understand that the wounds of narcissistic abuse are layered, confusing, and largely invisible, which is why we seek to create a counseling experience that fosters attunement and repair. Through this journey, a new emotional template can be achieved that makes space for your emotions, needs, and boundaries.
What To Expect
In therapy, we begin by identifying the signs and symptoms of growing up in a household where there is narcissistic abuse, helping you understand that what you’ve been carrying is not your fault. We untangle what’s yours from what was put on you, and along the way, you’ll begin to see your behaviors not as flaws but as learned responses that once kept you safe.
From there, we build something new. As we create a safe, grounded space where your emotions are valid, your voice is heard, and your boundaries matter, you can reconnect to your own internal compass in the process of nurturing self-trust. You’ll learn how to recognize and soothe your triggers, how to build secure relationships, and how to live with less guilt and more freedom.
Our Approach
Our practice uses the highly effective technique of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). By targeting the specific memories that have led to such internalized messages as “I’m not good enough” and “I can’t trust anyone,” you can reduce the emotional charge associated with those experiences. We also incorporate Somatic Experiencing to re-instill feelings of safety—even when your nervous system is dysregulated—so that you can feel comfortable in your body again.
Finally, therapy will be a chance to do the essential work of reparenting to rebuild the emotional foundation that was eroded by narcissistic abuse. Your therapist will collaborate with you to identify unmet needs and create new internal resources for affirming yourself in the way that a healthy, emotionally mature parent would have.
Therapy isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about returning to the person you were always meant to be—underneath the adaptations. The patterns of overthinking, people-pleasing, and difficulty trusting yourself that you experience today are not signs of failure; they’re brilliant survival strategies that allowed you to move through a childhood that was less-than-nurturing. And just as you adapted then, you can adapt again.
Common Concerns About Therapy...
I don’t characterize my experience as narcissistic abuse, and I don’t want to spend all of therapy blaming my parents.
Our therapists are trained to use a blameless model that centers your life experience. Through this process, you and your family will be treated with professionalism, empathy, and respect. We will follow your lead on how you describe your story.
Narcissistic abuse can take many forms. Even if you grew up in an environment where you were physically safe and not subjected to other kinds of abuse, it’s possible your parents regularly devalued your needs and emotions, instilling the belief that you aren’t worthy or important. Now, you may now be suffering with overthinking, people-pleasing, and difficulty trusting yourself as a result.
Therapy can help you unlearn self-limiting beliefs in the process of making space for emotional exploration and validation.
I’ve tried to address narcissistic abuse with therapists in the past but didn’t get the results I was looking for.
Many of our clients have been in and out of therapy for years, trying to heal the wounds created by emotionally immature parents and narcissistic abuse only to end up in the same frustrating patterns.
Our therapists are highly trained in issues of codependency, complex trauma, and narcissistic abuse. We know what it takes to heal the trauma that’s stuck in the body and how to help clients reconnect to their authentic selves. We truly understand what it means to be raised in a less-than-nurturing home environment and why reparenting work is so essential for long-term relief and repair.
I don’t have time to attend weekly therapy sessions, and I want to feel better now.
We will work with you to determine a therapy schedule that feels both productive and sustainable. If attending sessions from home or work would help you accommodate weekly appointments, we offer online counseling to residents throughout California.
Alternatively, if you are worried about time constraints, our multi-day retreat offers a great opportunity to receive months or years of therapy over the span of a few days. Learn more by visiting our Return to Self retreat page.
Make Space For You
At The Codependency Clinic, we foster a highly relational, experiential counseling environment where clients can come to experience emotional validation and heal the wounds of narcissistic abuse. For more information, contact us or schedule a free consultation with one of our narcissistic abuse specialists.
